Build A Home

I kept debating with myself on whether or not I will post something about this, but seeing as we will need to make an article about it later in the semester, I thought might as well. It would be better to write about it now, since I still remember most of what happened, instead of later where I could, most likely, be straining my mind for details.

If a lot of you don't know yet, our NSTP class requires us to 2 fieldwork for the semester, missing one means an incomplete on our final grade, so really, required. The first was in Bataan to teach basic math to 2nd graders(as I have mentioned in a previous post), and the other was a trip to Tarlac for house construction, one which was destroyed by typhoon Yolanda.

The call time was the same as before, 7 am, but we didn't leave until it was like quarter to 8, again, same as before – I was a bit frustrated because you know, I woke up early for this okay, my sleep is precious. Anyway, the drive there was surprisingly fast(reminder: Sunday mornings are the best time for a drive), and arriving early means starting construction early. So we brought out shovels and trowels and sacks of cement, hollow blocks, and I-don't-know-how-much liters of water, and went on our way to the site.

Our adviser told us during the ride there that, originally, the class was supposed to work on two houses but reverted to working on only one of them, for reasons I think I forgot, but thank goodness they did because we wouldn't have done much if we worked on two. It was a little chaotic because the class was comprised of, more or less, 54 students, and we were all fussing about on the site, not knowing what to do because there was too much of us to work on a single, solitary house barely the size of my bedroom; everyone was everywhere and there wasn't enough room to move, so we kind of just bumped into each other ever so often.

We did manage to make a wall(5 lines of hollow block, but a wall still) before the rain started falling, and we had no choice but to go back to our bus and have an early lunch break. Once lunch was through, we went back to the site to finish up. A few more cement was mixed, hollow blocks piled on top of walls, a clean up of the site, and then we're on our way home.

Even though a third of the time I was just sitting down on a stool watching from the sidelines, I can honestly say that the work I did manage to do was exhausting(shoveling is hard you know, especially if the sun is beating down on you). Most importantly, those few hours of hard labor weren't for nothing – a home for someone who lost his.

I think I finally get what this NSTP class is for.

Join the Rebellion

I guess it's pretty obvious what the title means. That's right baby, Catching Fire! And I'll tell you one thing(okay, maybe a few), it was awesome!

Francis Lawrence did an amazing job with this; sticking close to the books was the best decision he ever made. Apart from having almost all of the major scenes in the movie, he also put in exact book quotes. Like a lot of them. Most movie adaptations don't get that much so I am beyond thankful to him.

I love the whole vibe of the film; the tension and nerves in the air. The effects and the scenery – everything looks good visually, thanks to the huge amount of budget they had for this, which I am now grateful to know they spent wisely. The acting is A+++. I would personally like a standing ovation for these great actors and actresses, specifically Sam Clafin, who is playing Finnick Odair. I know that a lot of people didn't like him for the role before but I hope that by watching this, they would change their mind. My friend did and it is so fun rubbing it in her face how right I was that Sam will do Finnick justice.

I don't want to talk about my favorite scenes because then it would take up about 2 pages worth so I'll skip that. What I would tell is that most of them (my favorite scenes) consists of when Finnick, Johanna and Mags appear on the screen, every single time. Johanna in the elevator was the one I was looking forward to the most. I wasn't disappointed.

Also, a lot of people who have watched were a bit frustrated(in a good way, I think) with the cliffhanger at the end. For non-readers I would understand because then they would have to wait for another year to find out what Gale meant with the "There is no m---". I won't say it. However, I'm surprised with the readers who have said that. I mean, you know what happens in Mockingjay dude. Keep your pants on, please.

All in all, this just made me 100000x more excited for Mockingjay, and I hope Francis Lawrence makes it as wonderful as he did with Catching Fire.

PS. If you haven't watched it then what is wrong with you? Watch it. Just listen to me and watch it. Pretty please with sugarcubes on top.

What I'm worth

Last Sunday, we had our fieldwork for our NSTP class; we had to teach 2nd graders from out of town. There wasn't much teaching done because (1) we weren't prepared for it and (2) lazy asses, all of us. And so we just played with them.

There was one girl that I stuck with for the duration of our visit. She was the one I looked after the most, played with the most, and talked to the most. And she stuck with me. She wanted me to play with her the most and talk to her the most. Seeing her so happy because of me, it made my heart swell with pride and joy. I thought I wouldn't enjoy the trip – I don't like children so much because they're loud and hyper active, but it surprised me that at the end of the day, I genuinely had fun.

Although, there was one saddening thing I realized at the end of our fieldwork. When we were told that the trip is over and that we needed to head back to Manila, the little girl I was with cried. She hugged me and cried and said that she didn't want me to leave. At that moment I felt a pang in my heart. This little girl cried for me. She wanted me to stay but I can't. I wanted to stay a bit longer but I can't.

I know why I wanted to stay. For the first time, I felt wanted and loved. And it's weird how you can be surrounded by friends and family yet still feel so alone. Ironic that I felt most loved from a child I didn't really know and have no relation to whatsoever.

For a long time I had been that person who puts others before herself – tries to become less burdensome to lighten my parents' load, tries to be more patient with my sister, tries hard to always be there for my friends whenever they need me. Now I'm thinking, is it really worth doing all these things when no one appreciates it, or even acknowledges it? I know there is always that quote, "It's better to give than to receive", but what if all you ever do is give and never receive? What do you do then? 

Early morning drama

This happened at about 7:30 in the morning and I was so pissed about it. I don't normally like to rant about these stuff but it was just so frustrating that I had to let it out. I'm sorry.

You know how people react when they find out you're the youngest in the family, they all go like 'you must have it easy' or 'you must be the favorite' or 'your parents probably spoils you'. The answer is a big no. And if you know how it is with our family, that is an even bigger no.

What I could never understand is why my sister has to keep using my clothes even if she has a closet full of them. And when I tell her to change into her own, you know what she says? "I'm already wearing it, so I don't want to. Stop complaining." Wait. Hold up. You tried on two outfits before landing on mine. You were already wearing your clothes, yet you still changed into mine, and now you have the nerve to give that crap excuse to me. Wow.

Another thing that makes me angry about all this is how my parents reacted. When I told my mom she was like "Just let her, it's for work anyway." Newsflash: I've let it go so many times already. I'm fucking tired of it. On the other hand, my dad was all angry at my sister at first, telling her he won't drive her to work unless she changes into her own clothes. Unsurprisingly, that didn't happen. My sister didn't change and he still drove her to work. Yeah, way to stand your ground dad. No wonder she turned out to be a spoiled, overbearing bitch.

You might think I'm being too petty over this whole thing but I'm not really. My clothes are like 1/3 of what my sister owns, yet she still tells my parents that she doesn't have any and persuades them into buying her more. They do. And when they do, I can't ask them to buy me clothes too because I will start thinking that that would be too much for them. Also, now that she has a job, my parents are suddenly making her tons of "work clothes". Oh, and forget the fact that I've been asking them for a year now to make me a skirt. And in the event that she does wear my clothes, I'm the one burdened; when I need something to wear, I can't find any because SHE WORE IT ALREADY.

I am so tired of having to let all this go on, tired of always being the one to compromise, tired of being the only one who sees the unfairness of the situation. This is one of the reasons why I want to get a job already and earn money. I want to get the hell out of here, away from all this shit.

Book Review: Allegiant

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Title: Allegiant

Author: Veronica Roth

Date Read: Oct. 26 - 30

Rating: ★★★★★


First thing off, the pacing for Allegiant I found to be quite similar to Divergent's, which is a bit slow. Not a lot of action and was more on painting a picture of how things picked up after the end of Insurgent. How people are coping with the factions being taken down and Evelyn acting as the new leader. We see now, even better than before, why Tris and the rest wants to get out. And once they do get out, it was a descriptive of how the outside world looked like; who they met along the way, the places they went by and stayed at.

At about half of the book, I was reeling with the new information. I felt like I was one of them, felt as if my world was crumbling down as theirs did. In the first two books, I lived in the same world as them and to know that that world was just a lie, that all you knew and believed in were just things other people wanted you to believe. I, for one, would not know how to pick myself up after that, so it just shows how strong these characters really are.

Now, a few things I realized I like of Veronica is (1) how she manages to tell the story and then smoothly transition into refreshing the readers memories of what has happened in the latter books; just little reminders that don't deviate you so much from what is actually happening. And (2) the way she brings comic relief in a rather serious setting; she manages to make you smile or laugh amidst the heaviness of the characters' situation – she does so effectively. I also think it's good that she used a dual perspective because now I got to know Tobias and understand his reasons and thinking a little better; we all got to know him from an unbiased point of view.

I have to say though, at some point in the book I started hating him, because I think he did an idiotic move, and that hatred went on for about 8 chapters or more(mostly more). But I kept thinking how Tris still wants to be with him, so I let it be. I love Tris so much that I respect whatever decision she makes. Also, I understand her reasons for still wanting to be with him in spite of what he's done. I mean, yes, they have done wrong to each other – they fought and argued and lied – but the fact remains that they love each other. I once read somewhere that if you’re going to choose who you’re going to be with, choose someone who makes you a better person. As Amar has said, Tris brings out something in Tobias; that something, I think, is life. Tobias, on the other hand, makes Tris feel better about herself. He’s the one who gives her the reassurance she needs.

So if it wasn't obvious enough, there would be an uprising towards the end and I honestly don’t know how to feel about it (and Tris’ plan on exposing the Bureau’s secrets) because I don’t really like wars or even fights – I have no idea how I survived reading this or the Hunger Games for that matter – but I see the importance of it so I kept hoping they do it successfully. This is also what led to me loving Tris even more than I already do, because this girl, having already proven to me how amazing she was before, did it again and much more in Allegiant. That bravery and selflessness I first loved about her, shone even brighter here. 

Here comes the hard part.. was it a happy ending? No. Did it break my heart? Hell yes. Is it a good book? It is a GREAT book. As heartbroken as I am about the ending, I understand why she ended it that way, and I can accept that.

And here's a lesson for everyone, a book isn’t determined to be good on whether it has a happy ending or not because it is not obligated to have a happy ending. A book is obligated to tell a story, that’s the whole purpose of it. And Veronica does that, and in a very well manner. Remember that you shouldn’t say a book is bad just because it has a sad ending, or because it didn’t have the ending you wanted. Learn to respect the author’s decisions for ending it as she did.