[UPDATED]Back from Vacation

I haven't mentioned before but from the 18th up til the 21st, I was out of town. Our family went to Basco, Batanes for a holiday and a pre-birthday celebration for me and my mom.

Just to sum it up, the trip was wonderful. Everything about the place was wonderful. It's this whole cluster of islands filled with much greenery, and the sea that surrounds it is so clean and clear. It had this peaceful calmness about it. They all practically knew each other and treat each other as families, so there wasn't nearly any hostility, and everyone was so welcoming. I swear I could live there, if it weren't for cable TVs and fast internet connection. Oh, and the local food was delicious – I ate a snail!

Anyway, I would love to post photos of the place but were not allowed yet, our parents said so. So until then, just got to rely on my words.

PS. It was my first time on a plane. I hate it. And I may have puked on our boat ride to the other island. Maybe 5 times.

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So here's the promised pictures, just a few and most are landscapes since I don't want anyone to see my face here. . .

Book Review: Sweet Evil

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Title: Sweet Evil

Author: Wendy Higgins

Date Read: Dec. 4 - 8

Rating: ★★★★★

Anna Whitt has joined my very short list of 'Main female characters that I love' and because of that this book has turned into one where I give no fucks about the male love interest and all the fucks to the female protagonist, which is way easier because I know I'll always be hooked to the story since I'm in it for the one whose life the story revolves around. I mean, I like Kaidan, just not when he's being indecisive about his feelings for Anna because it hurts to see her getting hurt because of it. She's just this really sweet, genuine, all around wonderful girl so I strongly believe she doesn't deserve all that emotional pain. I guess another reason why I love her is because she reminds me so much of myself. Like honestly, I have never met a character who is so like me, I can feel heaven opening up to introduce her as my twin soul. 

I like how Wendy made it out that Anna already has special abilities, unlike most fantasy/paranormal/dystopian/whatever-genre-possible YA Heroine who has to find out about it first. But apart from that it's mostly the same with everything else: she has a 'great gift' separate from the other characters' and that gift could turn out to be humanity's salvation from evil and yes, she is still introduced into this new world of angels and demons and learns more about what her life really is from a boy she 'coincidentally' met one night.

Also, I think her writing needs to improve because it’s a little tacky at some parts.

However, despite all that I still love this book. I didn't think I could be in love with a book and main character just by reading the 1st chapter but here I am. This still was amaaaazing. I didn't get why people had to use extra vowels to show emphasis on a word but now I do. This book was extra A's worthy. Okay, but seriously, I do love this.

Now for the sort of spoilery part of my review.

I really want to talk about Anna's depression, the one after the Halloween chapter where Kaidan rejected her, and this quote in particular:

"I’m letting you go but only because I have to. I need to move on with my life, but I’ll never hate you.”

I know a lot people would think she was being too dramatic and too desperate for him and all that. I did too, a little bit. But then I remembered when I was in the same position as her. The time when I fell in love with someone, the first and only time I did, and it broke my heart to pieces. He’s a nice person, just not to me, and that’s because he knew I liked him. I was hurting for a long time, months actually. I tried to tell myself countless times that I need to let it go, let him go, and just move on with my life but I couldn’t. This eventually led to my depression.

When I hit college and maturity came crashing down upon me, I realized I needed to let go completely, to save and fix myself. And with time I did. But never did I hate him for anything. I was angry with the way he treated me but more with myself because I let him hurt me that badly. The thing is, the same with Anna, it’s not easy to let go of someone you love. Even if you’re hurting because of someone, it’s not like you can just turn off your feelings for that person in an instant. It takes time and the will power to do it.

In the end, she did manage to let him go because she knows it's for the best, but she also knows in her heart that she will always love Kaidan no matter what. My love and respect for her skyrocketed at that point.

And speaking of endings, why? WHY? Was that really necessary? Well, of course it was. It kind of reminds me of the feeling I got after finishing Delirium: sad, heartbroken, slightly in denial. But no worries, there is a second book, and if Pandemonium didn’t let me down on the Alex/Lena, then Sweet Peril won’t let me down on my Anna/Kaidan. 

Super fun night

It seems to me every 18th birthday party of ours turns out better and better than the one preceding it. First, it was Abby's surprise Karaoke party, where I practically sang my lungs out. Then Leigh's birthday, refer to this post. Now it's my best friend's turn, and in celebration, we went to Pizzahut and ate our hearts out over the amount of food she ordered(and paid for!). A bowl of Caesar salad, two plates of pasta, three pans of pizza, and two chocolate fondue. It may not seem a lot but if you were there you would understand. I think that's the first time in a long while since I've felt so full and, as sad as I am to admit it, gluttonous. The only thing that put a damper on the evening was the realization that Jade wasn't with us.

While having dinner, we talked about a lot of things, seeing as we haven't seen each other for a whole month then. We also finally made a group bucketlist, which had at least 10 things written down, and was signed by all of us, a silly gesture but doesn't make it any less fun. And it seems decisions were flying through the air because we've already planned what to do for Christmas break.

Seeing as a lot of us can't meet up during Christmas week, because some of us would be out of town during that week, we thought it would be best to have my birthday celebration + post-Christmas party on January 4. We'll be going to Enchanted Kingdom for the first time as a group so I'm really looking forward to it, not much on the fact that I'll be paying for the transportation fee since you know, 18th birthday and all. Plus we're gonna have exchange gifts, something they really wanted to do. It's fun so I won't object.

Before we went home Leigh and I tried out dresses as a possible reference for the one we might wear to Patchi's debut. The one I tried was so beautiful and it looked good on me(something rare) and I really wanted to buy it but what can I do when I have no money to spare. Sigh...

Well, that's it. I guess I should be calling posts like these as 'UWO's adventure part ...' because let's face it, there's going to be a lot of this. God, I missed these girls more than I imagined, and seeing them again made me feel so happy. Now, I absolutely can't wait for January. I just hope we'll all be there.

Book Review: There's No Place Like Here

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Title: There's No Place Like Here

Author: Cecelia Ahern

Date Read: Nov. 12 - Dec. 3

Rating: ★★★


This has got to be the Cecelia Ahern book I like least of all. It was a slow and boring read(if it isn't yet obvious from the above). Sandy Shortt isn't likeable to me and her I-don't-give-an-F-about-you attitude is so frustrating, like if I could go into the book, I would have slapped some sense into her in most chapters she was narrating. The only time I liked her was when Jack was talking about her bringing his hopes up of finding Donal. Actually, I would have liked it better if it just focused on Jack finding Sandy, but then that wouldn't explain the story very much.

Her monologue at the end, about always being found regardless if you were lost by choice or by circumstance, I liked quite a lot. Although it doesn't make up for my disappointment with the events that led up to that ending, the one where only Sandy came back, because the whole time I was thinking she stumbled into Here to bring everyone back(or maybe just Bobby), so it was pretty much a let down for me.

Not exactly a 3 but more of a 2.5 stars, on account that I loved it when Sandy was talking about Gregory or retelling their story or just the two of them being together in a scene.

Build A Home

I kept debating with myself on whether or not I will post something about this, but seeing as we will need to make an article about it later in the semester, I thought might as well. It would be better to write about it now, since I still remember most of what happened, instead of later where I could, most likely, be straining my mind for details.

If a lot of you don't know yet, our NSTP class requires us to 2 fieldwork for the semester, missing one means an incomplete on our final grade, so really, required. The first was in Bataan to teach basic math to 2nd graders(as I have mentioned in a previous post), and the other was a trip to Tarlac for house construction, one which was destroyed by typhoon Yolanda.

The call time was the same as before, 7 am, but we didn't leave until it was like quarter to 8, again, same as before – I was a bit frustrated because you know, I woke up early for this okay, my sleep is precious. Anyway, the drive there was surprisingly fast(reminder: Sunday mornings are the best time for a drive), and arriving early means starting construction early. So we brought out shovels and trowels and sacks of cement, hollow blocks, and I-don't-know-how-much liters of water, and went on our way to the site.

Our adviser told us during the ride there that, originally, the class was supposed to work on two houses but reverted to working on only one of them, for reasons I think I forgot, but thank goodness they did because we wouldn't have done much if we worked on two. It was a little chaotic because the class was comprised of, more or less, 54 students, and we were all fussing about on the site, not knowing what to do because there was too much of us to work on a single, solitary house barely the size of my bedroom; everyone was everywhere and there wasn't enough room to move, so we kind of just bumped into each other ever so often.

We did manage to make a wall(5 lines of hollow block, but a wall still) before the rain started falling, and we had no choice but to go back to our bus and have an early lunch break. Once lunch was through, we went back to the site to finish up. A few more cement was mixed, hollow blocks piled on top of walls, a clean up of the site, and then we're on our way home.

Even though a third of the time I was just sitting down on a stool watching from the sidelines, I can honestly say that the work I did manage to do was exhausting(shoveling is hard you know, especially if the sun is beating down on you). Most importantly, those few hours of hard labor weren't for nothing – a home for someone who lost his.

I think I finally get what this NSTP class is for.

Join the Rebellion

I guess it's pretty obvious what the title means. That's right baby, Catching Fire! And I'll tell you one thing(okay, maybe a few), it was awesome!

Francis Lawrence did an amazing job with this; sticking close to the books was the best decision he ever made. Apart from having almost all of the major scenes in the movie, he also put in exact book quotes. Like a lot of them. Most movie adaptations don't get that much so I am beyond thankful to him.

I love the whole vibe of the film; the tension and nerves in the air. The effects and the scenery – everything looks good visually, thanks to the huge amount of budget they had for this, which I am now grateful to know they spent wisely. The acting is A+++. I would personally like a standing ovation for these great actors and actresses, specifically Sam Clafin, who is playing Finnick Odair. I know that a lot of people didn't like him for the role before but I hope that by watching this, they would change their mind. My friend did and it is so fun rubbing it in her face how right I was that Sam will do Finnick justice.

I don't want to talk about my favorite scenes because then it would take up about 2 pages worth so I'll skip that. What I would tell is that most of them (my favorite scenes) consists of when Finnick, Johanna and Mags appear on the screen, every single time. Johanna in the elevator was the one I was looking forward to the most. I wasn't disappointed.

Also, a lot of people who have watched were a bit frustrated(in a good way, I think) with the cliffhanger at the end. For non-readers I would understand because then they would have to wait for another year to find out what Gale meant with the "There is no m---". I won't say it. However, I'm surprised with the readers who have said that. I mean, you know what happens in Mockingjay dude. Keep your pants on, please.

All in all, this just made me 100000x more excited for Mockingjay, and I hope Francis Lawrence makes it as wonderful as he did with Catching Fire.

PS. If you haven't watched it then what is wrong with you? Watch it. Just listen to me and watch it. Pretty please with sugarcubes on top.

What I'm worth

Last Sunday, we had our fieldwork for our NSTP class; we had to teach 2nd graders from out of town. There wasn't much teaching done because (1) we weren't prepared for it and (2) lazy asses, all of us. And so we just played with them.

There was one girl that I stuck with for the duration of our visit. She was the one I looked after the most, played with the most, and talked to the most. And she stuck with me. She wanted me to play with her the most and talk to her the most. Seeing her so happy because of me, it made my heart swell with pride and joy. I thought I wouldn't enjoy the trip – I don't like children so much because they're loud and hyper active, but it surprised me that at the end of the day, I genuinely had fun.

Although, there was one saddening thing I realized at the end of our fieldwork. When we were told that the trip is over and that we needed to head back to Manila, the little girl I was with cried. She hugged me and cried and said that she didn't want me to leave. At that moment I felt a pang in my heart. This little girl cried for me. She wanted me to stay but I can't. I wanted to stay a bit longer but I can't.

I know why I wanted to stay. For the first time, I felt wanted and loved. And it's weird how you can be surrounded by friends and family yet still feel so alone. Ironic that I felt most loved from a child I didn't really know and have no relation to whatsoever.

For a long time I had been that person who puts others before herself – tries to become less burdensome to lighten my parents' load, tries to be more patient with my sister, tries hard to always be there for my friends whenever they need me. Now I'm thinking, is it really worth doing all these things when no one appreciates it, or even acknowledges it? I know there is always that quote, "It's better to give than to receive", but what if all you ever do is give and never receive? What do you do then? 

Early morning drama

This happened at about 7:30 in the morning and I was so pissed about it. I don't normally like to rant about these stuff but it was just so frustrating that I had to let it out. I'm sorry.

You know how people react when they find out you're the youngest in the family, they all go like 'you must have it easy' or 'you must be the favorite' or 'your parents probably spoils you'. The answer is a big no. And if you know how it is with our family, that is an even bigger no.

What I could never understand is why my sister has to keep using my clothes even if she has a closet full of them. And when I tell her to change into her own, you know what she says? "I'm already wearing it, so I don't want to. Stop complaining." Wait. Hold up. You tried on two outfits before landing on mine. You were already wearing your clothes, yet you still changed into mine, and now you have the nerve to give that crap excuse to me. Wow.

Another thing that makes me angry about all this is how my parents reacted. When I told my mom she was like "Just let her, it's for work anyway." Newsflash: I've let it go so many times already. I'm fucking tired of it. On the other hand, my dad was all angry at my sister at first, telling her he won't drive her to work unless she changes into her own clothes. Unsurprisingly, that didn't happen. My sister didn't change and he still drove her to work. Yeah, way to stand your ground dad. No wonder she turned out to be a spoiled, overbearing bitch.

You might think I'm being too petty over this whole thing but I'm not really. My clothes are like 1/3 of what my sister owns, yet she still tells my parents that she doesn't have any and persuades them into buying her more. They do. And when they do, I can't ask them to buy me clothes too because I will start thinking that that would be too much for them. Also, now that she has a job, my parents are suddenly making her tons of "work clothes". Oh, and forget the fact that I've been asking them for a year now to make me a skirt. And in the event that she does wear my clothes, I'm the one burdened; when I need something to wear, I can't find any because SHE WORE IT ALREADY.

I am so tired of having to let all this go on, tired of always being the one to compromise, tired of being the only one who sees the unfairness of the situation. This is one of the reasons why I want to get a job already and earn money. I want to get the hell out of here, away from all this shit.

Book Review: Allegiant

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Title: Allegiant

Author: Veronica Roth

Date Read: Oct. 26 - 30

Rating: ★★★★★


First thing off, the pacing for Allegiant I found to be quite similar to Divergent's, which is a bit slow. Not a lot of action and was more on painting a picture of how things picked up after the end of Insurgent. How people are coping with the factions being taken down and Evelyn acting as the new leader. We see now, even better than before, why Tris and the rest wants to get out. And once they do get out, it was a descriptive of how the outside world looked like; who they met along the way, the places they went by and stayed at.

At about half of the book, I was reeling with the new information. I felt like I was one of them, felt as if my world was crumbling down as theirs did. In the first two books, I lived in the same world as them and to know that that world was just a lie, that all you knew and believed in were just things other people wanted you to believe. I, for one, would not know how to pick myself up after that, so it just shows how strong these characters really are.

Now, a few things I realized I like of Veronica is (1) how she manages to tell the story and then smoothly transition into refreshing the readers memories of what has happened in the latter books; just little reminders that don't deviate you so much from what is actually happening. And (2) the way she brings comic relief in a rather serious setting; she manages to make you smile or laugh amidst the heaviness of the characters' situation – she does so effectively. I also think it's good that she used a dual perspective because now I got to know Tobias and understand his reasons and thinking a little better; we all got to know him from an unbiased point of view.

I have to say though, at some point in the book I started hating him, because I think he did an idiotic move, and that hatred went on for about 8 chapters or more(mostly more). But I kept thinking how Tris still wants to be with him, so I let it be. I love Tris so much that I respect whatever decision she makes. Also, I understand her reasons for still wanting to be with him in spite of what he's done. I mean, yes, they have done wrong to each other – they fought and argued and lied – but the fact remains that they love each other. I once read somewhere that if you’re going to choose who you’re going to be with, choose someone who makes you a better person. As Amar has said, Tris brings out something in Tobias; that something, I think, is life. Tobias, on the other hand, makes Tris feel better about herself. He’s the one who gives her the reassurance she needs.

So if it wasn't obvious enough, there would be an uprising towards the end and I honestly don’t know how to feel about it (and Tris’ plan on exposing the Bureau’s secrets) because I don’t really like wars or even fights – I have no idea how I survived reading this or the Hunger Games for that matter – but I see the importance of it so I kept hoping they do it successfully. This is also what led to me loving Tris even more than I already do, because this girl, having already proven to me how amazing she was before, did it again and much more in Allegiant. That bravery and selflessness I first loved about her, shone even brighter here. 

Here comes the hard part.. was it a happy ending? No. Did it break my heart? Hell yes. Is it a good book? It is a GREAT book. As heartbroken as I am about the ending, I understand why she ended it that way, and I can accept that.

And here's a lesson for everyone, a book isn’t determined to be good on whether it has a happy ending or not because it is not obligated to have a happy ending. A book is obligated to tell a story, that’s the whole purpose of it. And Veronica does that, and in a very well manner. Remember that you shouldn’t say a book is bad just because it has a sad ending, or because it didn’t have the ending you wanted. Learn to respect the author’s decisions for ending it as she did.

Happy Hearts

So last October 30 was a mishmash of happenings. First off, I finished Allegiant that afternoon just minutes before I needed to leave, which was the worst idea I've ever had. Now here's a tip: never read a book before going somewhere, especially something as heart-crippling as Allegiant; I was crying the whole time. Now as shattered as I was, the day's events turned my mood for the better.

A day or two before the 30th, Oseo messaged me about a surprise she had for our birthday girl Leigh: a dedication cake and a bouquet of flowers. I'm never one for hastily-made plans because I tend to get very easily anxious about things. Thankfully though the surprise was a success – it always is when it comes to Leigh. After that was just us eating, which isn't really a great story to tell since I'll get hungry and it's the middle of the night and there is no food. Honestly, what's the purpose of the fridge then.

The highlight of the day would have to be the video chats. The first one we had with Jade, our dear friend who is in New Zealand right now and, unfortunately, couldn't celebrate with us (physically anyway). It's been about 3 weeks since she left and this would be the first time we're all together to talk to her – not much talking actually, just a house tour, a dropped laptop and a lot of raised voices. Nonetheless, it was still nice to talk to her and see her too (praise the Lord for Skype). The other one we chatted up was a guy we met in Omegle, Nathan Affleck is his name. A++ personality, super adorable, and very lovable. 10 points for him too for making all of us like him, which is nearly impossible for 9 girls that have very different taste in guys. Congratulations, you are officially UWO's boy candy!

Well, that's it. Semester break is nearly over, just 3 days left and I'll be back in school. And if 2nd semester turns out to be as hectic as the 1st, then I'll probably have less time to update my blog. I'll try my best to though.

Things to be happy about

Haven't updated for a while and that's because the last week has been rather busy(?)/eventful for me, as compared to the rest of my semester break that is. Reasons for it being:

1) Swimming party at Bonifacio Heights

This one we (Yza, Nel and I) have been planning since the start of 1st semester and it was supposed to be an overnight stay, since Nel's family sort of owns the place, but it turned out we couldn't because some actor's mother is temporarily staying at one of the units. I had a lot of fun, though I was only in the water for like 2 hours due to my lack of swimming skills – really, why do I even insist on going swimming – and my fear of getting tanner than I already am. My companions, on the other hand, enjoyed it too much that we stayed 'til the afternoon (note: we came at 8:30AM). After that, and a movie at Nel's house, we set out to Fullybooked The Fort; I have never felt more relaxed and at home than at that moment. Oh, how I missed bookstores.

2) Troublemaker Comeback

2 years. Yes, that is how long I have waited for these two to comeback. A long wait that has been filled with re-watching stage performances and music video, searching pictures in Tumblr, and reading a lot of fanfiction. This comeback though, in my opinion, is better than their debut, and that's saying a lot since their debut was really good and was such a huge success. The song sounds good and is addictive. The concept is cool and (of course) sexy, and they have translated it really well in their music video. I can't help but be proud.

If you like, you can watch the music video here.

3) SS501 Reunion

Now this was definitely the peak of my happy week. The first time I saw the title of the article, I couldn't even believe it, probably because one of them is in the army right now. The five of them standing and performing on the same stage after 3 years of switched companies and solo activities? It was near impossible. But it wasn't really, now was it?

Tears, nonstop tears, those were all I could get out of me (and possibly a lot of wheezing and thank-yous to the Lord). I may be a solid SONE and love SNSD with every fibre of my being, but nothing compares to your first love right? SS501 is that for me: the first group I have ever loved and is the reason why I'm into Kpop; Triple S being my first fandom. It was made even better after reading other fans' comments, especially Cassiopeias, saying how lucky we are and how happy they are for us. It was so precious because even for just a moment, all us fans from different fandoms felt such a rare happiness, one that could only be felt when hit by news that a group has reunited – take Shinwa for example.

4) Seohyun & Kyuhyun's duet at SMTown Tokyo

And just when I thought that everything good has already happened, I find out that my OTP is officially back with a duet. Thank you SM, I have always loved how you pair these two up; it's their 4th duet like what! Sadly though, there aren't any fancams yet – the only thing I'm relying on right now – so I have to patiently wait for it. Anyway, there's an audio already up so that must provide for now.

5) Allegiant

Allegiant is the last book of Veronica Roth's most captivating Divergent series (read now if you haven't), released last October 22. Originally, I planned to buy this on the release date but in a turn of events, I don't have the money for it (and I want to laugh at myself for that right now). It took some blackmailing convincing before my dad agreed to buy me one, and true to his words, he did on the 26th. It's actually very special to me, not just because I have been dying to get the book since forever, but because it is the first time my dad bought me a book. Yes folks, I have shed (not really) blood and tears just to buy my own books. Do you know how much stress I put myself in trying to save money for all those? A lot. I have gone through half of the book and so far I'm loving it, but once I finish it, I will post my review here, as well as on my goodreads page.


So I guess that's it. That's the whole(?) recount of my life for the past few days. There is only a week left until I have to go back to college for 2nd semester, so I have to spend it wisely, which will most likely involve me laying on my bed reading or surfing the internet.

Book Review: Fangirl

I have done a few reviews(up and posted on my Goodreads account) but this would be the first time I'll post one on my blog, so without further ado.

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Title: Fangirl

Author: Rainbow Rowell

Date Read: Oct. 17 - 19

Rating: ★★★★★

I think I'll be saying this for all of her books but it just is true: Rainbow Rowell writes some amazing books. The kind of book that, although is a work of fiction, has such a realistic feeling. The characters are believable. The story is believable. The emotions were all so heartfelt.

Honestly speaking, I wasn't hooked to the story 1/3 of the way in. I didn't get most of what was being said - it was all so hard to understand and take in - and the idea of the story got lost to me. But through the half part I started to understand things and really see what was happening, which kinda sucked because that was when things started falling apart. It felt good though to cheer on Cath through all the shit happening to her. And it felt amazing to see all those problems get resolved: her dad, her sister, Levi, Fiction-writing. It was as if I fixed something in my life every time she got to fix something in hers. That was how realistic it came to me.

The ending, on the other hand, left me dumbfounded. I was surprised that she ended it that way but at the same time could understand why: since young it has always been Wren and Cath in their own bubble, but when Wren decides to come out and explore the world, she was left hiding on her own. A bit later, it explained, in Cath's own words, that there's no need to hide anymore - that she's strong enough for herself to stop hiding. It showed a Cath that was finally brave enough to face the world even without Wren holding her up all the time.

At the end of book, I realized two things: (1)We are all fangirls. May it be crying over a fictional canon from a book or singing along to a band or sitting on the couch in front of the tv cheering on a basketball team or in class admiring the English professor; as long as we have a liking or an admiration to something or someone, we are a fangirl(or fanboy for that matter). And there's no being ashamed to it. Ever. And (2) if you think that you would end up alone in a cottage with 10 cats just because you're weird and socially awkward, then think of what happened to Cath, how she and Levi fell in love, because as much as you think it's impossible, someone out there likes you(may even love you) for being weird and socially inept. And besides, isn't there a song that goes "what makes you different, makes you beautiful"?

Lottery win

Semester break just recently started and I have a pile of books waiting to be read. I don't know which one to read first so I'm just gonna give it up to chance. I made sort of a lottery way of picking. Nothing new, just wanted to try something out.

I don't want to go all philosophical on a simple thing but since I'm a piece shit I'll just go ahead. You know when at first you can't choose which one you want but in the moment you're reaching out to take one strip of paper, there is a voice at the back of your mind telling you something and at that moment you know exactly what you want. When you toss a coin to make a decision and unconsciously you're hoping for one side to turn up while the coin is still flipping. I don't know how that happens but for me it's cool to think that we don't need to worry too much when we're stuck, we just need a little push to make that move.

Decisions and Reasons

Whatever happened to never making a blog is most obviously out the window. It wasn't just the push my friend did, but all the shit happening that made me want to make one. There's the overbearing family, my grades almost slipping, another close friend moving away and my life in general. And I've learned from a lot of books and movies that you can't continue living so closed off from everyone. You can for a while, but it will pile up high, catch up on you and blow up on your face like a big great firework.

I've always thought of myself as someone who has a lot to say and isn't afraid to say it but with everything that's happening, I'm even doubting that. One thing is for sure, I like peace and quiet, and maybe that's why I like to contain not so certain things to myself. But I guess it's about time I hopefully break that silence for good. In here. In a web of complete strangers (and a few friends) because honestly it isn't so bad. It's a great stress reliever, just letting it out and letting it go. Not caring who reads or what they think because this is for me, a healing process of sorts. It is as simple as that. I like it.

PS. I'm not all about life drama. I think that's another shit higher than where I'm at. Or maybe lower. Who knows.